Happy Thanksgiving La La La

Last week I tried to explain to my students the concept of e-cards. Before social media, text messages, and GIFs (which everyone still pronounces differently), we used e-cards to communicate greetings and celebrations. Most of them could not comprehend a pre-social media world, but a couple of them were excited to tell me that they occasionally receive e-cards from well-meaning grandparents.

It was around the year 2001, and I honestly don't remember who sent it first. But somehow, my friend Elisa and I discovered a ridiculous e-card that had a small woman in a white chef's hat, carrying a turkey and singing a song about Thanksgiving. We sent it to everyone we knew- my family and my friends Jeremy and Janetta. Elisa sent it to her own people. And for over 20 years, Elisa and I passed this e-card back and forth to one another. With the creation of Youtube and then social media, it became the thing we posted with our holiday wishes to one another. It's part of Thanksgiving as we know it. My kids know that if I sing, "Hi there," they should respond with, "doo-dee-doo." 

This year Elisa passed away in September, and I have spent months reminiscing and reflecting on the ways my life changed because I knew her. And every time I have thought about posting the e-card, I felt like I couldn't do it acknowledging where it came from.

I had a very transient life as a missionary kid. I lived in more places before the age of 18 than most people do in a lifetime. So when I met Elisa Fisk and her friend Jill Stevens, I was an outsider. I had just moved to the Nashville area after a year in New Zealand. Culturally, I was certainly out of place. My year in New Zealand had been so freeing and such a great learning experience. I had lived in South Auckland, a community filled with Pacific Islanders. It was hard in some ways, but I had loved it. Returning to the US, specifically to a very conservative church and community, was harder than I had expected. But Elisa and Jill took me in. Their friendship had room for more, and I was included. 

Elisa and I both had big families with lots of siblings, so we bonded over that. Jill was good at coordinating get togethers, so we spent lots of time together. Over the next few years, our friendships changed and fluctuated and were sometimes more close-knit than others. One of us would start dating someone and withdraw from the group a little. And then a breakup would come, and we would come back together. Elisa was my roommate during one of the hardest years of my adult life. She saw me at my worst and at my best. We were there for each other for birthdays, graduations, weddings, for the birth of Jill's first baby. Elisa got married in June of 2008, and I moved back to Texas. Elisa moved to Florida. Jill stayed in Tennessee. 

We stayed in touch for two whole decades, some seasons we did better than others. I always talked about having Zoom coffee dates, and we never did that. But we supported each other however we could. Elisa was the queen of discounts and deals. If she had a coupon or knew of a good sale, you were going to know about it, too. So many screenshots of Chipotle giving free burritos to teachers. She loved people in practical ways.

We watched each other's kids grow up on Facebook, only occasionally getting the chance to see each other in person. Elisa was creative, and she was an excellent photographer. We looked forward to seeing perfectly coordinated Halloween costumes and sweet Christmas pictures of her kids in matching clothes. Jill, Elisa, and I communicated in group texts about pregnancy and parenting and how we didn't appreciated the amount of sleep we got before having kids. And when we found out last fall that Elisa had cancer, it felt a little unbelievable. But we prayed and were confident that we would see her healed. Sadly, we didn't get to celebrate her being declared cancer-free. Instead, we celebrated her life and grieved over its brevity.

I have cried a lot since September. I have gone through cards and pictures, and goodness, did we have a lot of pictures. There was a whole season of our friendship where we took pictures with complete strangers wherever we went. We have pictures with the Papa John's delivery men, Walmart greeters, old men sitting outside a small town gas station. But over the last few months my mind has been flooded with memories of our two decade friendship. They have brought lots of tears and lots of laughter. 

So today, I post this video in memory of sweet Elisa, who made everything better with her kindness, generosity, and adventurous spirit. We have so much for which to be thankful. 

Happy Thanksgiving, la la la.