“I make no secret of the fact that I would rather lie on a sofa than sweep beneath it.”― Shirley Conran
Several months ago, when I first found out I was pregnant, I had my first encounters with insomnia. I searched online, scoured books, and finally asked the doctor if it was normal. Totally normal, he said. Between anxiety and hormones and multiple trips to the bathroom (I had no idea that was something experienced in early pregnancy), I was a sleepless mess. I was so tired, but could not sleep. I would wake up each night, praying that I would be able to revert back to my old self, the sleeper. I did not. I would be hot. Then cold. Then thirsty. Then back to the bathroom. Then to the couch for hours of Frasier reruns. It was exhausting. Rest escaped me, until daylight, of course, when real things needed to be done.
Thankfully, the doctor said I could safely take Unisom for the insomnia, and before long, I was back to myself. Resting comfortably.
Fast forward to our big apartment move. Then to the loss of our tiny baby five days later. And then the discovery that our upstairs neighbors are so, so loud. I cannot sleep. I have stopped taking the Unisom because it makes me nervous when I think that I could become dependent on a pill to do something for my body that it should do all by itself. I don't want my body to forget how to sleep all by itself. And so I suffer.
I have tried to go to bed early. I have tried to get a full eight hours of sleep, knowing that my mind and body will be better for it. But inevitably, the noisy boys that live above me start to really live right about midnight. And so I awaken to the sound of the vacuum cleaner and furniture being moved across the room and their dog (which they deny having) scampering across the floor and pounding footsteps that make me hear "fee-fi-fo-fum" in my head. And I want to cry. And scream. And say bad words. And call their mothers and tell them that the boys need a spanking. And a lesson in manners.
I have tried to outlast them. After all, I love staying up late if I can sleep in a
In the meantime, I will nap. I will drink coffee. I will hit the snooze button. I will sleep late any time I can. And if you catch me sleeping in church, please just pretend I'm praying.