Thursday, August 25, 2011

Zesty Morsels and Succulent Veggies (a blog about words that will make you cringe)

You don't hate the word "moist". You like the attention of pretending you hate the word "moist". -  Alec Sulkin (a random guy that I don't know that someone else I don't know retweeted on Twitter)


Actually, Alec, you are wrong.  I really don't like the word.  However, I will admit that it is low on the list of words I dislike.  My best recollection is that the list started in college.  Inspired by an ex-boyfriend's excessive use of the word "gig" (in reference to music), the list was started.  Soon after, the word "flick" was added to the list.  Over the years, the list has grown and has taken on a life of its own.  There are so many words that I can't bear to hear, read, or write.  I die a little inside when I come across them.  So, for your enjoyment, here is a short sample of my list, divided into neat little categories. 


1. Menu items.  Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity.  Moons over My Hammy.  Just can't do it.  Jake ordered the Pork Belly at a restaurant the other night.  It was delicious.  But it sounds horrible.  No Pork Belly for me, thanks.  


2. Celebrity Couple Renaming.  Bennifer, Brangelina, TomKat.  I cringed while typing those.  Ridiculous.  


3. Dumb Band Names. I admit that I have kind of refused to listen to Mumford and Sons and the Christian band Gungor because of of the names.  I know it's a little crazy, but when someone asks what I have been listening to lately, I don't want either of those names to have to come out of my mouth.  I just can't do it.


4. Words that pertain to grossness. Pus.  Pimple.  Festering.  Goiter.  Abscess.  Soggy.  Fungus.  Lump. Secretion.  Bunion.  Go ahead.  You can throw up now.


5. Words that just sound funny.  Panties. Goulash.  Seeing the word panties next to the word goulash.  Morsel.  Teats.  Dumpling/ dumplin'.  Smear.  Bosom.  Warble.  Sassafras.  Hubby.  Zesty.  Succulent.  Veggie.  Supple.  Patootie.  Creamy.  Scrumptious.


6. Words that aren't words. Irregardless. Boughten (the internet tells me that this is a word, but I refuse to believe it).  Supposively.  Supposibly. Could of.  Should of.  Would of.  Try have, friends.  Could have.  Anywho.


7. Words that make me want to punch you in the throat if you use them. Chillax. Badonkadonk. Peeps. Tweeps.  Don't go there.  Sammies (for sandwiches). Yummo (we can thank Rachael Ray for this one).  Besties.  Preggers, preggo, etc. (Almost all of these words could actually be combined with the previous list, but I did want to make the distinction)


Jake and I have taken to using ugly words on purpose.  It's a game we play... see who can come up with the most annoying nickname for the other one.  Husby is my go-to name for him.  Wifey-pants seems to be his favorite for me.  And though they are horrible, they make us laugh.  When we leave each other, Jake's customary parting words are "Smooches", to which I reply "Huggles".  And then we both gag.  And laugh.


So there you have it.  These are a few of my least favorite things.  So feel free to offer up your own.  I would love to hear about it.  


And don't worry, I do have plenty of favorites, words I love... abysmal, appropriate, celebratory, centrifugal, shenanigan.   But I will save those for another day, a whole nother blog.  (Add that one to list #6)

2 comments:

  1. Ditto on moist (and I believe I've mentioned it in a blog post of my own). Although it describes a certain 2 yr old nephew for about 23 hours out of a given day.

    Euphemisms are, generally speaking, abominations. I will never forgive Shonda Rimes for introducting va-jay-jay into everyday conversation (and I don't even watch the show!) If you can't call it what it is then you probably don't need to be talking about it. [/sermon]

    ReplyDelete
  2. My recent word pet peeve is tue word "agreeance" because it isn't a real word!

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