Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Big Fat Hairy Deal... my tribute to Garfield and a lifetime of bad hair decisions

I am usually a decisive girl.  Give me a tough choice to make, and I will confidently make it in a few minutes, as long as it does not permanently alter lives.  If it does, I might need a day or two.  But I have no problem making decisions.  I am a dream to shop with because I don't linger over a pair of jeans or shoes or  a purse.  Either I want it, or I don't.  End of story.

But there's my hair.  What on earth am I going to do with my hair?  It's one of those decisions that gets made for you if you choose not to make it.  If I do not choose to cut it, it grows longer and looks scraggly.  If I do not choose to color it, my roots, which are made up of a lovely mousy brown color mixed with a healthy amount of premature gray, begin to show through.  My hair has a mind of its own.  Left to it's own devices, it will turn me into a frizzy, gray mess.  And so here I am.  I am needing to make a decision soon.  My original thought was that I would grow out my hair really long one last time before I got too old for it.  But alas, I may already be too old for it.  My hair is barely long enough to really be called "long", and I am already dreaming of cutting it off.  Girls measure long hair by where it falls in relationship to the bra strap, and it's barely there.  (Is it okay to mention a bra strap in a blog?  Those of you who are in-the-know, please advise)  But my long hair is getting to me.  It's hard to manage, and it takes forever to fix.  If I don't take the time to straighten it, it just ends up being a dry, frizzy mess.

So, I have been looking, scouring the internet for photographs of fabulous hair, hoping that I will find the perfect haircut and hair color to make me look 10 pounds lighter and 6 years younger (to match my husband's age, of course).  It needs to be low maintenance and completely flattering.  And so I search.  I Google.  And I imagine my face in place of a model's.  And I show my husband and ask his opinion. And he says that he has a hard time imagining what certain hairstyles would look like on me when they are a different color or on a different face.

Yesterday I decided to go through past hairstyles and make a little folder of photographs of pictures of me where I actually liked my hair.  Let me tell you that the results were quite disappointing.  The folder is very, very small.  Apparently, I never have cute hair.  Or at least I have not had hairstyles that I would like to revisit.  They may have been fine at one point, but they are no longer fine.  And so, in honor of my years of hair cuts, colors, and perms, I am going to take you on a walk down memory lane.

Baby Julie 1977
Feathery baby hair

Julie 1978
Maybe my mother cut this herself?

Julie 1979
Honestly, I am including this picture because I am sitting in a folding chair in the back of a van.  Apparently, child safety was not an issue in 1979.  I am sporting an amazing bun, though.

Julie 1980
This was the beginning of the side part/barrette stage that lasted a good 6 years.  I think I started wearing shirts after 1980, too.

Julie 1985
Still wearing the side part/barrette combo.

Julie 1986
The poodle mullet

Julie 1987
The relaxed mullet

Julie 1989
The winged mullet

Julie 1980
These are my bangs and you can't convince me that I will ever regret them.

Julie 1993
I finally discovered hot rollers

Julie 1994
Face has been blurred to protect the innocent, but seriously, we both had some hair issues here.  We both loved us some hairspray.

Julie 1995
"The Rachel" with a big Texas hair twist

Julie 1998
The bob that stayed in one form or another for about 5 years

Julie 2004
The long hair I was trying to go for this time around

Julie 2007
Finally got the nerve to cut it off

Julie 2009
A little longer

Julie 2009 (Part 2)
A little shorter and darker

Julie 2010
And longer and redder with bangs

Julie 2011
And now back to longer

And so I have no idea what I will do next.  I am not into extreme changes when it comes to hair.  Some women can make extreme changes to their hair and still be beautiful.  Not me.  No way.  I like safe hairstyles.  And ones that require little to no maintenance.  So if you have any ideas, I am taking suggestions.  If I choose to go with your suggestion, I will give you something fabulous.  Like a Garfield poster.


  1. I totally get you! I'm at a point in my life where I'd love to have hair that doesn't take much fussing with. But I'd also love to have it longer (past the shoulders--which would be a feat in itself if I could get it to grow that long), and curly. I like the shortness of it now, but Michael likes it longer too, and I want to please him. Such a dilemma! There's a big part of me that also wants to cover most of the grays, but it's kind of costly for me! My hairdresser does this cool coloring technique where she only colors about half my hair, and it doesn't show that much when it starts to grow out...because the color is so close to my own.

    Anyway, I found a style that I think you'd look cute with on Pinterest.

  2. Craig. Julies older but much younger looking brother.June 22, 2011 at 1:17 PM

    Just a quick note regarding the 1979 picture of you in a folding chair in the back of that van. Dad bought that van from a funeral home. The reason there were no seats in it is because it was used to haul CASKETS. As if the folding chair wasn't abusive enough!

  3. These pictures are awesome. I love the 'Julie 2010' hair! It looks good on you.

    I'd also like to let you and your brother know that you weren't alone in the funeral vehicle stuff. My dad's best friend is a funeral director. The week of my junior prom, he got a new Cadillac. (Cadillac makes a 'beautiful' hearse, if you get where I'm going) so my dad tells me that Dan said he would lend us the cadi for prom, he shows up to my house a couple days before, and I'm instantly mortified. He made me ride around in it with him, flashing lights and all. Needless to say, my car worked just fine as the prom-mobile.



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