Fatty No More

You know the feeling that you have when you have gained weight?  The one that should be to run right out and hit the gym and then fill a grocery cart with fresh vegetables and tofu but instead tells you to go buy a box of assorted Dunkin' Donuts and take three bites out of each one until you want to throw up.  Oh, and then take a nap.  And wake up later to have some stuffed crust pizza and Oreos.  Yeah, I have that feeling today.  Occasionally, I take a day off from Weight Watchering.  (I know it should be weight watching, but watchering is more fun)  I will have a small bag of peanut butter M&M's and I splurge on pizza, but I am almost always back on the wagon the next day.  We all deserve a day of indulgence every now and then.  The Weight Watchers program even allows for it.  Well, for the last 6 weeks, I have stayed off the weight watchers wagon and I think its knotty wooden wheels have run over me.

Before the wedding, I blamed wedding planning.  I was too busy planning a wedding to plan a menu.  And so I didn't.  I ate out.  I had fun, but I also gained weight.  Not too much, but enough to feel uncomfortable.  Enough for my jeans to feel snug, which I hate.  And I knew the wedding was coming so I mustered up a tiny bit of restraint so that I would fit into the dress.  And I did.  Congratulations to me.

Then it was honeymoon time.  All inclusive resorts mean a couple of things.  Unlimited amounts of alcohol (which wasn't helpful for me at all since I don't drink) and unlimited amounts of mediocre food.  What I lacked in alcohol consumption, I made up in mediocre food consumption.  In my defense, I tasted almost everything on the buffet because I was trying to find something that tasted really, actually good.  Mostly, I just failed.  And the large amounts of food weren't worth it.  They rarely are.  And because I wore mostly bathing suits and loose fitting clothing, I didn't even notice the extra 10,500 calories I consumed or the resulting three pound gain.

Now I am home.  And I am fatter.  Not fat.  Just fatter.  I have to do fat girl squats to stretch out my jeans before I can wear them out of the house.  Today I am wearing a loose fitting sundress so that I don't have to suck anything in.  But my days of eating whatever I want are over.  This is my solemn vow, and because I am putting it on the interweb for the world to see, it is my public commitment.  I will be counting pointsplus like nobody's business.  I will drink water until I float away.  I will work out at the gym, even though I would rather nap.  I will be eating endless amounts of grilled chicken and will be giving up pasta for a little while.  So please, if you see me at the Dunkin' Donuts drive-thru or parked outside Pizza Hut, be a friend.  Stop me.