Monday, February 28, 2011

Tennessee

I moved to Tennessee in 1999.  I spent nine years in the Volunteer State, and I loved those years.  There was so much change and growth and pain and laughter and learning during that time.  Coming back home to Tennessee is always a thing filled with mixed emotions.  I have had my heart broken and I have laughed until I cried here.  There are beautiful memories of teaching and mothering and church and weddings and music.  There are things I would like to forget, mistakes and hurts and loss and embarrassments.  And I can be driving down these familiar roads and cry for seemingly no reason, feeling the little shreds of grief that remain.  I meet with friends and I drive away feeling incredibly blessed to have had those relationships for so long.  Tennessee feels like home and yet doesn't.  But for the past few days, I have been home again.  It has been comfortable and fun and a little hurried.  And here is what I have been spending my time doing.

Visiting friends
Driving
Dodging tornadoes
Listening to Johnny Cash
Eating steak and spaghetti
Being surprised by a boy
Shopping
Picking up where I left off with some of my best friends
Laughing about sleeping in suitcases
Going on a date
Answering a million first date questions
Falling in like with a boy
Saying goodbye to a boy
Intending to workout but shopping instead
Buying a sympathy card
Having coffee
Holding sweet babies
Taking five million hipstamatic pictures
Eating pretend pancakes with a 3-year-old
Eating sweet potato biscuits
Talking about life
Talking about death
Talking about diets
More driving
Trying out a new HDR photo app for my iphone
Hugging old friends
Seeing people I love from my old church
Shopping for non-Elvis souvenirs
Listening to break-up stories
Missing friends I didn't get to see
Missing friends that are no longer here
Missing a boy that's in Texas
Hugging a homeless man named Pedro
Taking Pedro's number... he is single, girls

I was supposed to go back to Texas this morning.  Tennessee is determined to keep me here one more day with all of its tornado watches.  And so I slept in and enjoyed the sound of the storm.  Tomorrow I will get back to my new life and new friends and my new relationship, remembering the old ones and being thankful for what I get to keep.  But for one more day, I will be here.  And this will be my song.

4 comments:

  1. My days at Lancaster with you and the gang were some of my favorites. I kind of giggle to myself every time I recall us both crying in the office when Kevin walked in lol Of course...at the time I didn't think it was amusing. I am so very thankful to have known you Jules.

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  2. when you post that you are going back to tn, i wonder to myself what you must feel...figured it was mixed emotions. glad you had a good time! i miss tn from time to time. we eat at hollywoods, for some weird reason, when we go back to visit. glad you went on a date! love the song. will share it w/paul. see if it will make him cry...;) he loves tn. God bless. teresa d.

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  3. Wish I could have been in TN too - tornadoes or no. First, because I would like to (someday) actually meet you again and second because I love TN and my friends & family there.

    I grew up there but it isn't "home" any more and that kind of makes me sad.

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  4. I'm sad that when you went back to Tennessee that I wasn't there to see you! I miss you Jules! Come visit me in my adorable, tiny little town. You would love Walla Walla and Walla Walla would LOVE you! We need some more southern flair up here. Love you girl!!!

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