Saturday, November 6, 2010

The Times They Are A-Changin'

I can't relate to people who have lived in the same town their whole lives.  It is the plight of the missionary kid, I suppose, to feel like you have multiple homes, but you are never quite at home in any of them.  By the time I was a teenager, I had moved more than most people move in a lifetime.  I changed schools, homes, friends, continents.  I should be used to change.  You would think that it would be second nature, but I still hate it.  I know it's good and helpful and can bring about better things, but I still don't like it.

If you could take a snapshot of my life four years ago, and compare it to what it looks like right now, there would be little to no resemblance.  Four years ago I was married with five kids (four nephews and a stepdaughter).  I was a second grade teacher.  I was about 12 pounds lighter.  I had longer hair.  I lived in Tennessee.  I had a tiny little house that was filled with school uniforms, legos, and children's books.  I did at least two loads of laundry a day.  I would have given my right arm for a few hours to myself with nothing to do.  Now I live in Texas.  I am in a tiny little apartment that is filled with books, musical instruments, and my latest estate sale finds.  I rarely do laundry, and I get away with it just fine.  I have endless amounts of time to myself, and I would give my right arm for someone to be responsible for.  

The thing about life is that once you adjust to one change, something else changes and then you must adjust to the new one.  I was mostly adjusted to single life in Texas when I met Tim.  Then we started dating and I adjusted to that.  And now, a year later, we are no longer dating and I am readjusting to single life in Texas. It just keeps going.  My routine of hanging out on Tuesdays and Saturdays has been thrown off.  Today I had no idea what to do with myself after I was finished working at the church.  Normally, I would meet Tim for lunch, and then we would go find something interesting to do.   Thankfully, I only had a few hours to fill today before going to a family dinner, but you know what?  Next Tuesday and Saturday are already out there waiting for me.  They will have hours in them that need to be filled with activity.  You know what else?  I will find a way to fill them.  I will figure something out.  I will not console myself with Ben and Jerry's because I have a Weight Watchers goal that I have to meet.  I will play music and I will write some sad songs.  Break-ups are good for that at least.  And I will go to the gym.  I have been neglecting that.  I will drive to Fort Worth and play music on the cold street corner with my little brother.  We have been talking about that for a while.  I will find someone else to attend the Weepies concert with me.  I will take the trip to Tennessee that I have been planning.  I will fly to Orlando to see my best bud.  I will pray, and I will read my Bible even if I don't feel like it.  At all.  And tonight, I will get an extra hour of sleep, because even though most change is not easy, it is not always bad.      

3 comments:

  1. Nicely written! We never know what God has in store for us. He is contantly grown us into the person He wants to be (if we choose to grow with Him). Sorry to hear about your break up. Been through one of those (post divorce) and it sucks. But, I'll wait for God's best, instead of settling for what is "ok".

    We got a new singles minister by the way, and have an awesome 11:30 class..if you're interested. It's amazing how God has grown it.

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  2. Love this blog, Julie!!! Absolutely Beautiful!

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  3. You're fun :) And I like your blog. And I particularly like this blog post. And I think that you should feel honored and loved that God knows you are strong enough to handle so many changes in your life. And what an incredibly amazing and wonderful story you have to tell. You've certainly experienced more in your life already than most people experience in a lifetime. Live it up, girl!!

    And one more thing, when you come to Orlando to visit your best bud, can you come say hi to me too? thanks. :)

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